


I am Halted

by CatSquashLily



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27379306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatSquashLily/pseuds/CatSquashLily
Summary: this isn't something I bothered to review and fix grammar mistakes, but I'm still putting it here.





	I am Halted

I feel halted, I feel freeze-framed. 

I look around and it feels like east and west are blurry, it feels like I don't even know my present. 

I'm obsessed with knowing myself but it feels like the more I try the less I understand. 

my past is horrifying, my future is terrifying, and I feel like I'm stalling for more time. 

more time before I have to face the world, more time before I have to be ok, more time before I have to perform for people I don't even know or care about. 

more time before I have to change even more than I already have. 

the truth is that if I do not change, I will die.

I know I have to change but I don't know in which ways. 

I feel so slow to analyse my feelings and my opinions. 

I react the way people expect me to rather than how I naturally would. I have trouble differentiating myself from others. I see them all mixed into me, into everything I do. 

I'm suffocating, I kept adding more and more stuffing to a pillow that was already full and now it's bursting at the seams. now I'm paying the price of my desperation.

I am under threat from myself and the power to fight back is in the hands of a coward.


End file.
